"what I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do"

I am currently reading the book “Blue Like Jazz”. I haven’t finished yet, but be sure that once I do, a lengthy post will follow. All I will say for now is that it is basically a lot of what I have been feeling for a while now, put into words. It is real and honest. I believe in God, deeply, and I know that I know Jesus, but I think that somewhere along the way I started turning God into something that He’s not. My spirituality is in so many ways, very fake. And, very selfish. In light of the truths God is teaching me through the book, I am learning that I need to start being more honest, and stop hiding behind religion and dogma.

So, here is something honest.

I have never bought cigarettes for my mom. She smokes. I have always looked at it as this awful and godless thing, so even though she has asked me, and I’ve been legally able for a while now, I have never bought them for her. I told myself that if I were to purchase them that it would somehow be encouraging her sin, or worse, that the sin would somehow rub off on me. I was convinced that doing it would somehow be “unchristian”.

That’s not true though. Really, it just made me feel more godly to not do it because it made me feel better than her since I didn’t do it. It was another sin I could cross off my list, something I could pat myself on the back for not doing. And, to tell you the truth, I care a lot about what other people think. If I bought cigarettes, what would the cashier think of me, or the person behind me in line?

My dad always goes to buy them. Anytime she asks, day or night, he goes. And, he does it with a smile. He is one of the godliest men I have ever known. He has a true servant’s heart. He doesn’t like smoking either, but when she asks, he does it.

Honestly, this doesn’t make either my dad or I any holier than the other. But, it gets me thinking. Am I really showing my mom Christ’s love by being pious and legalistic?

Am I showing anybody Christ's love by being pious and legalistic?

“The truth is we are supposed to love the hippies, the liberals and even the Democrats, and that God wants us to think of them as more important than ourselves. Anything short of this is not true to the teachings of Jesus.” -Donald Miller, “Blue Like Jazz”

"I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms"

I spent my first week full-time with Nathaniel, everyday from 8 to 5 (sometimes 6 or 7). Here is somewhat of a recap of what my week was like. The following is a list of what my days consist of.

-video games

-episode after episode of iCarly (Nickelodeon must be gettin desperate cause i swear that is the only show they play on that channel)

-hotwheels

-board games

-puzzles puzzles puzzles!

-webkins.com (apparently it's the new online phenomenon amongst youngsters these days)

-the McDonalds play gym

-slip n' slide

-soccer

-using pvc pipe guns to shoot marshmallows at the dogs

-crafts

-easy-mac, poptarts, cheetos, corndogs, chicken nuggets and sno cones (he eats more than I do. I didn't know that was possible.)

-saying things like "please don't throw that ball at anything breakable," as it ricochets off a window and flies up towards the ceiling fan.

I will now leave you with an anecdote from the week.

After finishing his chicken nuggets at McDonald's, Nathaniel informed me that he was ready for dessert. The two of us went up to the counter and I asked the cashier for an ice cream cone. I looked down to see a horrified look on Nathaniel's face. When I asked what was wrong, he said, "well, that's not all I wanted!" Thinking that I must have misheard his original request, I asked again what exactly he would like. His response was, "I didn't just want a cone. I wanted ice cream on it too!"

I love 5 year olds.

A Link to the Past

WARNING: for all of you who do not believe that time travel is possible prepare to stand corrected.

Yesterday I journeyed about 20 miles outside of Decatur and about a hundred years back in time to the tiny town (if it can even be called that) of Greenwood, TX. Now, Decatur is small, but this place is like nothing you have ever seen…or heard of…literally. It’s not even large enough to deserve a population sign, however my dad and I estimate about 300 people judging from attendance at the two churches in town. There are more cows than people, and more hay bales than cows. I’m not sure there is a word in the dictionary to describe how tiny this place is. And, for everyone who makes fun of my country accent, you aint heard nothin yet. These folks speak with such a southern twang that I feel like I need a translator.

It was here that my mom grew up on a dairy farm, and where my grandmother still lives. Every year they have a lunch for all the people in town and those who grew up there. When my mom mentioned that this fun festivity was coming up the following day, I got so darn excited that I could hardly contain myself. In fact I was looking so forward to it that I drove to Greenwood and slept out on a bed made of hay under the stars so that I could be the first one there Sunday morning.

Ok, so maybe that’s not true. Actually, I didn’t even really wanna go at all, and I wasn’t going to. I mean, here I am craving adventure and travel with everything in my being, and the best I could do is Greenwood. What the heck?

But, I woke up yesterday morning and for some reason just thought “hey, why not?”

Turns out I am super glad I went. I got to meet some new people, and hang with the fam, which I don’t do nearly enough. And even though ninety percent of the people there were like four times my age and it was in the ballpark of a hundred degrees, I had a pretty awesome time. And, like God has been doing lately, He reminded me that you can find adventure anywhere.

I decided to include some photos, for your entertainment and mine, and so that you could see that when I say “small” I am actually being quite generous. So, get ready to travel back to yesteryear. Enjoy.

Cogratulations! You can now say you have seen downtown Greenwood in its entirety. Be proud.